Vortex

OK, I caved. I bought an umbrella. I blame not having a book which necessitated a visit to the bookstore, where umbrellas are strategically placed to entice wet walk-ins.

I believe umbrella manufacturers conspire to endow umbrellas with a timed hearthing device which removes the umbrella from the owner's possession to a random lost-and-found. There also seems to be an inverse relationship between the price of the umbrella and the number of hours the timer is set to.

My new umbrella was $24.95 plus tax. I give it a week.

Autumn

I love the Autumn.

I let the rain stream down my face, the steely taste on my tongue, wash the salt off my cheeks.
Let the weather grieve with me the loss of warmth and sunshine.
Let the leaves cover our footprints on the path and keep them safe.
To sleep, perchance to dream. But no.
All we can't leave behind. Fallen trees fuel the fire that shines on my children's faces and lights the pages of my book.

Listening to Mozart's Requiem on the Stanley Park causeway.

Soon there will be snow. Planning to terrorize Cypress Mountain on my new skis and boots. The joy and immediacy of movement. Slowpokes beware. Downhill at warp speed. Volunteers to be my safety cushion at the bottom please sign up :-)


But I'll miss being able to go barefoot...

Truth

Two men say they're Jesus, one of them must be wrong -- Dire Straits, Industrial Disease

What do your eyes see? Do you see me? Do you see me standing there? Do you see the same things I see? There's an art to perception... so see it as you will -- Odds, Eat My Brain.

Truth is subjective, facts just fiction. The friction between two realities.

Hope

The problem with the ostrich strategy is, of course, that your arse is still in the air.
(Thank you Sandra for these wise words :-) )

On a wall in a cellar in Cologne, Germany, where Jews had hidden from the Nazis, there was found an inscription. The anonymous author who perished with his fellow victims left behind these words:

"I believe in the sun even when it's not shining.
I believe in love even when not feeling it.
I believe in God even when He is silent."

The overwhelming black hole of grief and fear makes us fall in on ourselves and we cannot see beyond the event horizon of the next minute. Thank God for friends who reach out. Thank God for friends who answer the phone. Thank God for friends who ask the difficult questions and are not afraid of our tears. Thank God for friends willing to take a risk for us.

We are not alone. The only pain is to feel nothing at all.

Brakes

For a while now, my ABS has been broken. Cost/benefit analysis seemed to show that the investment in fixing the ABS cannot be justified for an old truck like mine.

And I say, I have no use for brakes anyway. Brakes are for the faint of heart.
I hurl towards the abyss.
I know there's a place for us on the other side. All shall be well. And all manner of things shall be well.

But it better not start raining.

Prayer

Hold my hand.
Do not let go, even when fleshrippers scar my skin
Show me the unseen air that lifts the great bald eagles
Show me the sea otter that rises from the void below
Tell me about the beauty I have inside of me

Tell me that though all is turmoil, love is constant
Tell me to ignore the siren song of Silence
though her red lips I would kiss, her peace is empty

Tell me that though we walk through the valley of death
we will fear no evil
for you are with me
Do not let go.

How to be Good

What makes a good person? Is there such a thing as caring too much? Giving too much? In a way giving is controlling too...

Ann says we follow patterns... that we can see certain behaviour in every generation.

So maybe I *am* just like my mother! :-) Well, at least she received a medal ("lintje") from the Dutch queen for all the volunteer work, so maybe that's not so bad. :-)

A friend contacted me somewhat distressed in that his manager and a co-worker had... let's say a less than cheerful supportive professional discussion. And afterwards - they didn't seem to care but he was upset just from being a witness.

Not only do we all write and edit our own stories, we seem to be part of different movies. We don't hear what's being said, but whatever is triggered by what's being said. The rush of emotions in response to the words. The rush of blood to the head.

Listening to: Oasis, and System of a Down (mezmerize)

"Phone calls like ours only happen when you've spent several years hurting and being hurt, until every work you utter or hear becomes coded and loaded, as complicated and full of subtext as a bleak and brilliant play."
Nick Hornby - How to be Good (which is all in all a hilarious book)

Light in the distance

View from the Hill

You sit and think that everything is coming up roses
but you can't see the weeds that entangle your feet.
You can't see the wood for the trees cos the forest is burning
and you say it's the smoke in your eyes that's making you cry.

They sold you a view from the hill.
They told you that the view from the hill would be
further than you'd ever seen before.
They sold you a view from the hill.
They sold you a view from the hill.

-- Fish, Vigil in a Wilderness of Mirrors

Being in charge

"Not until the plane tickets were in my hand did Maurice [Baril] tell me that no one from the DPA would be able to replace Pedanou as mission head. By default I was to be in charge. I was still naive enough to be pleased" -- Romeo Dallaire, Shake Hands with the Devil

It is so easy to judge until you wear the shoes. What if you're the one ignoring the warning signs?


Every step that you take
Could be your biggest mistake
It could bend or it could break
But that's the risk that you take
Coldplay -- What If

Wherefor?

Does a blog assume an audience? (does a falling tree still make a sound if there's no-one to hear it?)

Bought (yes, bought :-) ) three new CD's:

• System of a Down, Mezmerize
• Nine Inch Nails, With Teeth
• Dream Theatre, Octavarium

I really enjoy the System of a Down one... remembering Teremandis' description of the mosh pit at the concert :-) And Thanks to Rizzen and Ahms for the suggestion of DreamTheatre!

Started attending Greek 100 lectures... can't wait to read Herodotus in the original! :-)

So - who wants to know? :-)

Curl up and Dye Beauty Salon - The Blues Brothers